2 hours ago / 3 notes
Something about me. Loyalty.

Loyalty means everything to me. Family is important to me. At my core, I’m an introverted individual so, everyone that I bring around me, I value & trust deeply. I tend to stick to my guns and will do anything and everything to prove my allegiance to those I love. I’ve been in several situations were I had to tolerate things that I hate/despise based on my commitment. I’ve stood through concerts, stood in defense, put my life on the line, hung out at houses, went to events, supported things I could care less for, all in the name of loyalty. But one thing that constantly occurs is that my loyalty will be challenged by something that strongly vexes me to the point where I can’t sleep about it, because I strongly disagree, but the loyalty within me will encourage me to “push through” the things that irritate me. I tend to be an honest person when expressing my feelings to the people I love, and I value my “loyalty” personality trait, but more and more, each day, my loyalty is failing me. I am becoming confused about what loyalty really means. I’m beginning to feel insecure about my loyalty, and how strong I hold on to it. Sometimes I wish I was that person who could look the people that I love in the eyes and lie to them, or tell them “no, I can’t go through with this.” Sometimes I wish that I didn’t really care about loyalty because not everyone sees loyalty the same as I do. I’ve been called “black & white” when it comes to my views on loyalty and that  I leave no room for “exceptions”. I find myself standing up for my friends while they shrink back and keep quiet. I find myself covering all bases (loyalty wise) in my relationships to the point where (compared to others) I’m doing too much. I constantly battle with thoughts like “Should I just hang out with this person that continuously gossips about  my friend?”……….”Should I hold a conversation with this girl that constantly gives me the “googly eyes” every time she talks to me? Despite the fact that I have a girlfriend? Despite the fact that this girl doesn’t have a chance of swaying me away from her? or does she?” Just thinking about those questions makes my stomach turn. I just see things different because I grew up with my older brother, with him telling me secrets, with me getting arrested with him, by his side, tackled by police when I was in the sixth grade. Being in the interrogation room, hearing police officers call him “Bi#%ch” , “Moth^&*#ker” , and other derogatory terms I never thought cops would say. I remember when he would tell me about his dreams that he had, things he wanted to accomplish, and I would sit and listen to him talk for hours, believing in his dreams more than him. I remember all the “don’t tell mom” talks we had, and till this day, I never said a word.

The loyalty that I built with my brother is something that I carry into all of my most precious relationships. I’m just getting to the point where I’m not sure if I should detach myself from loyalty completely or continue to endure thorough more upsets and setbacks.

There is no middle ground for me. 

I’m either in the back of the police car with you.

or I’m driving it. 

1 day ago / 5 notes
“Detachment produces a peculiar state of mind. Maybe that’s the worst sentence of all, to be deprived of feeling what a human being ought to be entitled to feel.”
James Dickey
1 day ago / 1 notes
“Anyone who says I have nothing to learn has severely limited themselves in terms of opportunities for doing more, being more, and becoming more.”
Daniel Kish 
3 days ago / 2 notes
outkast:

Outkast-inspired Art from Ludzik
3 days ago / 361 notes
"Pharrell Wiliams" by Noamir 3 days ago / 4 notes
Donation Message.

Hey everyone,
 
If you haven’t had a chance to check out “Rare Form” and “Rodney Mullen” yet, please do so right now and let me know what you think. I’m pouring my heart out on these tracks, and I just want y’all to understand where I am. I work hard at everything I do, and my music isn’t just a hobby or entertainment, this is my life. I hate feeling like I’m begging. I’m honestly going through a tough time right now and I need any support I can get. If you’ve ever been touched by something I’ve done and made a donation, thank you from the bottom of my heart. If you didn’t have it to give at the time, but you do now, I really could use your support at this time. I need to raise $150 by Tuesday, and I want to do it through my music. If you could copy and share the following information on your Facebook and Twitter feeds, I would greatly appreciate it & add a little something extra to let people know why they should support (in your own words):
 
If you haven’t already,check out my latest project, #Lightmares, and make a donation today: http://jerrelljohnson.bandcamp.com
 
Check out NEW MUSIC:
If you like what you hear and want more, make a donation today. “Rare Form”: http://jerrelljohnson.tumblr.com/post/90020806358/rare-form

“Rodney Mullen”: http://jerrelljohnson.tumblr.com/post/91705918338/new-music-rodney-mullen
 
Thank you.

4 days ago / 4 notes
4 days ago / 6 notes
5 days ago / 2 notes

How in the heck do you reply to people on tumblr. I always want to reply back to you guys.

6 days ago / 5 notes
6 days ago / 1 notes
6 days ago / 0 notes
HOOD PRANK GONE WRONG!
I’m not a big fan of prank videos.


But being that I’ve been apart of the Youtube community for about 6 years of my life, I couldn’t help but notice them.


but today I discovered something else.


Lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of “In the Hood” prank videos. Videos where “privileged” adults go into “underprivileged” communities and perform pranks that are bound to gain the attention of it’s “participants”, as well as the world around you.


But before I start, let me make myself clear:


I have no problem with people having fun. Fun is cool. but I do have an issue with someone making a living, a prestigious one at that, from an individual’s suffering.


If you didn’t know, famous Youtubers are not hobbyist. What they do is their actual job. They get paid from the views they get, accumulated through advertisement. Every click is another dollar. As much as we like to think of Youtube as this “organic unified video community”, it is still a distant, product/consumer driven business.


In the words of Shawn Corey Carter “Your a customer homie”, subscribing to a magazine (or channel) that you thought was free.


Your time is literally their money.


The point that I want to drive home today is that, Not only are “In the hood” videos extremely profitable, but they are also destructive to the minds of those who lack a proper understanding about the hood or (let’s be real) black people in general.


The reason I say “black people” is because the majority race in these “In the hood” videos are……..well……black people.


As I watch these videos, and most of them have a million views or more, I frequently see comments such as:


"Geez, black ppl are paranoid as fuck" with 65 likes.


or

"I’m not trying to be racist. But never let your guard dawn when doing a prank like that to a black person, because they will sucker punch you. Or when they are in a group, because all of them will attack you." with 75 likes


or


"I’m white. I grew up around black people and all other races for that matter. Black people resort to violence quickly because of their environment but also because of their insecurity. It’s a "hood" thing. If a dorky looking white kid goes up to a black guy in the hood and says "You got a problem" he automatically is confused and resorts to violence because that’s not supposed to happen. It messes with their ego, black men have big egos and letting a white man mess with them would fuck with their head for a long time, I’ve seen it." with 25 likes.


You will also see comments like these too:


"I love how the racist pieces of shit in the comment section are actually blaming these guys for getting mad. If you’re sitting down minding your own business, and some assclown sticks a camera in your face, steals your phone, steals gas from your vehicle, calls you racial slurs, sits on top of you, farts on you, starts cursing at your girlfriend, tells you that you have to leave your home, or continuously asks "do you have a problem?!", then you wouldn’t get a bit heated? This is the fucking HOOD. It’s a life or death struggle in some of these areas with all of the gangs and crooked cops , and people just want to be left alone to go about their day, because they have enough shit to deal with. But I’m from Brooklyn, and if you were to go to a mostly white area of BK like Benson hurst or Bay Ridge, and pull this shit on them, they would have knocked your ass out in half the fucking time, I promise you." with 125 likes.


annnnd this,


"Guys don’t act like all races are the same. Because they aren’t. All races act differently. Lets not pretend that they do. Black people tend to be more violent in situations like this. Just accept that. Especially in the hood. And white people tend to be less violent and use logic rather than force. And thats only racist if you want it to be." with 0 likes.


See what I mean?


and what bothers me even more is the fact that these Youtubers know exactly what they’re doing. They know it’s controversial. They know the stigmas attached to their videos, but they do it anyway because it views…….I mean sells.

I use to laugh at these videos, not because it’s funny or entertaining, but because I could relate to the “reactions”. I would think about the time my dad punched my cousin’s boyfriend (and he literally flew out the door) in my grandmother’s kitchen for talking slick to his niece, or when some dude got punched in the mouth for “sneaking up” on someone, or the time someone got cussed out over the phone for pretending to be a bill collector, or the ti………….
Just thinking about the times I had “in the hood”.


I laughed because I understood. But today I grieve because I now understand the intentions behind these videos:


"To exploit a people and a culture." period

People have a misunderstanding of why we react the way “we do”.


They haven’t experienced the things that we’ve experienced.


They don’t know what it’s like to have police tackle them because they “fit the description”.


They don’t know what it’s like to have things taken from them on a daily basis, including your father.


They don’t know what it’s like to decide whether they want to cut their hair or grow dreads because the public will only see them as “Chief Keef” or “Thug”.
We are constantly having to “protect ourselves”.


and with the recent Trayvon Martin verdict last year, Do you really think a black kid wants to tolerate a white man approaching them saying “I got the strap (gun)?”


Do you really think we want our phones snatched? for fun? when there’s a high chance that someone has already tried to take it foreal?


I’m just asking you to see the bigger picture.


I’ve been to big YouTube events. Personal ones. I’ve been behind the scenes. Most of these guys are just well off people that hope and pray nothing life threatening will happen to them during their “in the hood” shoot. The hood is just another place to them, not a place of people, but something like a lions den, another game of chicken, or truth or dare.


If you want to go places and make observations, fine. But when your “observations” are doing more harm than good to whatever/whomever it is your observing, then it’s time for you to stop.


I’ve never seen a “In the burbs” or “In the Country” title for a prank.

How about you go to the Dominican Republic and pretend to steal a bike from someone?


or


Pretend your stealing someone’s crops that they’ve been tending all year?


or


Go to the suburbs and pretend your breaking into a car or a house?

it’s not that your “hood” prank reactions have “gone wrong”.

it’s just that your actions have.

1 week ago / 5 notes
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2 weeks ago / 3 notes
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